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19 February 2012 @ 05:31 pm
SKINS 6x03 & 6x04 --The final descent  
I'll preface this by saying that this will possibly be the last one of these I do. I can barely be bothered to watch an episode of this terrible programme, let alone spend an hour+ talking about it afterwards here.

And hope I felt from Alex's episode was completely nullified in Franky's, thus, yeah. The definition of insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results. If I go insane, I don't want it to be from a TV programme.

So in honour of this momentous occasion, I'll play with the (OLD) X-factor judges. Cos I miss them and I miss Skins and why not?



CAVEAT: I have only seen these episodes once. I can't be arsed to rewatch so really, I'm going from memory here. And honestly, I wasn't even paying that great attention to begin with. Any mistakes with little details here and there? Too bad. Deal with it.

OKAY.

LIV'S EPISODE. Oh wait, I mean Alex's. Who the fuck is Alex and why should I care about him?

Truth is: I don't know and I don't care. I care about Liv, so only in conjunction with her do I care about Alex.

So we start off, wait, I don't remember how it starts. It's with gran yeah? Who knows. But, okay, his gran is ill and he has a shitty relationship with his father. HOW NOVEL! I have never seen this done on Skins before! Oh wait, doesn't like EVERY male on this show have a conflict with his asshole, domineering/neglectful father? Oh no, my mistake: Just Nick and Matty. Alo and Rich have the only other type of father Skins can think of: the bumbling, useless, lovable schmuck. I dare you to find me a father on Skins that is not one of these two stereotypes.

I get that technically the parents are told through the perspective of the kids, but really? I'm pretty sure teenagers are able to understand other kinds of people than just these two types. Also, it's clearly impossible to ever have a good parent, I guess? (I will make an exception for Franky's dads who appear to be the only parents in the entire history of Skins that are actual good parents.)

Anyway, who cares? Me complaining yet again isn't going to change a thing. It hasn't in the past and it won't know. Why? Well, one I'm not on the writing team so likely this criticism will never even be seen by anyone, also it's already filmed anyway, and finally cos I'm just a lowly fan and as such are completely devoid of brains, skill, basic comprehension or even a valid opinion whatsoever. At least that's the vibe I get from Neil Duncan, BE, and Co. (ND REALLY gets on my tits. Like, an incredible amount. He's just such a douche.) I'm just not ~deep enough to ~get the brilliance of S6. *shrug* Oh well then. I'll cry myself to sleep about it.

Oh, actually. No. No, I won't.

So Alex has a daddy that doesn't care, a mum that's nowhere to be seen, a gran with a mental disorder, and he lives his life in the stupidest fucking way possible: DICE-LIVING -- the way of life decision-making for cowards and morons. Don't even get me started on dice-living. Don't.



So, in order to make friends, Alex stares creepily at Liv who for some reason is dumping vodka into her coffee at lunchtime, smack in the middle of the canteen. Yes. Right. Seems legit.

I get that she's coping with grief, and considering she's the only one (other than Rich) thus far that seems to even care that Grace is dead (or cared about her when she was alive as well), it's understandable she'd be doing ~something edgy to represent this.

Then Alex punches Alo cos the dice told him to.


Yes.

I can't.

What happens after this? I don't even remember. I think Liv befriends him, is it? Cos yes, I'd totally buddy up to the random new dude that punched my friend in the head. Liv does not make good friend decisions ever. Okay, I'm going to have to cheat and go to 4oD cos I legitimately can't remember the order of things.

I just know at this point the first go around, I wasn't actually too upset by the episode. I thought it was dumb, but kind of like retarded-puppy dumb. Sort of adorable in a way and it wasn't so completely over the top that I was like "WTF is this shit?" It felt a lot like old Skins here. In fact, I'd say despite the shitty a-plot, it had the vibe of an old Skins episode. Not one of the really good ones, but like 1x02, 1x09, 2x02, 3x03 or 3x10. Like pretty unrealistic still and sort of hammy, but not terrible. And when those become criteria for a GOOD Skins episode, you know the series is fucked. Anyway... Back to the episode itself.

Ah yes, here is my number one problem with this episode.

In the typical Skins-style, let's stereotype and poorly portray mental illness! For FUCK SAKE SKINS. You know what this fucking programme needs more than better writers? A PSYCHOLOGIST ON THE STAFF. Seriously, their hackneyed version of mental disorders is not only totally insulting but so beyond inaccurate it's fucking disgusting. It started with Cassie and only continued to get worse and worse til it culminated in the abomination that was Effy's psychosis. It tapered off in S5 and has unfortunately reared its ugly head again here in S6. Shocking, considering who's at the helm: the master of melodrama himself. Now this isn't so insulting and dangerous as Cassie or Effy's issues, but it really fucking irks me how they're making dementia and Alzheimer's out to be some quirky, easy to handle situation. Not even a problem, as such.



Has no one on this staff ever had a friend or relative who's suffered from this? I find that incredibly hard to believe. But then again, considering the rest of the series and how eerily similar it reads to bad fanfic, this lack of insight about dementia is not really that surprising. Unfortunately. Alzheimer's or dementia is not fun and games. That terribly sad bit with his gran being found in the closet is typical. Except it gets much worse. There's no way on earth a teenage boy could take care of her, unless he dropped out of college and spent 24 hrs a day with her. And that means dressing her, feeding her, bathing her, taking her to the toilet eventually. That is why nursing homes exist -- because most normal people don't have the capacity (and especially the expertise and patience) to devote their entire life to someone else, no matter how much they love them.

Not to mention that as Alzheimer's progresses, Gran wouldn't be a lovely, silly old lady. She would get nasty. That's just what happens. And the problems she would get herself into are not just getting locked in a closet for a few hours... And I would guess the father realises this -- except he's written to be a complete chody dickhole so we're not supposed to listen to what he has to say, right? But really Alex and his dad represent the two EXTREMES. The regular person is somewhere in between.

Wow, that was serious.

And a serious problem Skins has on the whole. It presents mental illness as either inconsequential and glamourous/hilarious, or alternately a massive huge deal that is way over the top. Well done, Skins. You truly are the epitome of realism like you like to say you are, aren'tcha?

Now what's next? Ah, the random happy hour bar scene. Alex is fucking weird with his constant insertion of himself into all things Grace. But whatever, he's obvs desperate for friends and curious, so I'll let it slide. I don't think his motivations are illicit so yeah. He's trying to connect with this group of kids and that's the one thing they seem all to be hung up on. I woulda suggested maybe finding a different clique to befriend. You have a whole college worth of teenagers. But meh. I'm guessing part of this is Alex unconsciously perhaps trying to work out grief and what it's like to lose someone, cos I'm pretty sure he knows that no matter what, he's going to lose his grandma. So it's his way of exploring and preparing himself for it. And I think he also thinks he can help. Why he thinks this? I dunno. Perhaps he's like every teenager ever and thinks he knows everything.

But hey, I think that may be giving the writing a little too much credit.

Also, how much do I hate Franky's face? Look at her there, being all sad and mopey, like she actually cares. Whatever, bitch.

But la piece de resistance of this scene? Mini's dancing. What the fuck is wrong with dis bitch? And why has she lost the ability to dance. She's almost as bad as DBR. I'm not even going to comment on the fact that people are dirty dancing in a bar in the middle of the afternoon... Cos we all already know how stupid that is. We also can all see the copious number of drinks these kids have in front of my and my excuse is that Grace clearly left them money in her will. Yeah? Cos every teenager I know can deffo afford £40 worth of drink everyday after college. What do you mean that doesn't seem right? Of course it is! Skins is so ~real and all teenagers can afford to drink like that all the time! Pssh. Where do you live? You just must not be ~cool and ~edgy and ~hedonistic enough if you think it's ridiculous for a group of lower/middle-class 17 yr old kids from single parent families to constantly have a healthy flow of cash for Moroccan holidays, constant drugs and a steady stream of alcohol every single day. Loser.

This is the kind of thing that I feel was not an issue in Gen1. Why? Cos they weren't constantly down at the pub or raves or parties. They did school. They had non-drink related/induced/supported dramas. They hung out, maybe shared a spliff on the Green. Occasionally had a night out and had a relatively realistic number of drinks. (House parties are different, but aren't they always? Plus, it's not like everyday they hustlin', yanno?) When they went wild, they went wild. But it wasn't like it was seen as a constant thing they did. Then came along Gen2, and even in S3, it was getting a little hilarious, but not unreasonable. Until S4. And ever since then there's been this influx in the substance use that goes beyond all reason.

But I digress... my whole point was LOOK AT MINI. LMAO.

I feel like perhaps they didn't actually give Freya any music to dance to whilst filming. And it shows. Poor dear. And I'm not even going to comment on the fact she's pratically wearing underwear as shorts cos since seeing that chick outside Wills in teeny hotpants in -7 temperatures, I... just don't know. It seems to be a thing.

I did like Liv rolling her eyes at Franky. Yuss. You go Liv.

Okay. And then we come to the second most ridiculous part of the episode where a 17 year old kid outsmarts and outcheats a Chinese gang. Yes, you read that right. Some little squirt somehow manages to cheat the mob.

Let me tell you something about mobs. They aren't stupid. They aren't careless. They won't give up. You fuck with organised crime, you will pay. People like the moronic Johnny White and Mad Twatter were not real gangsters. They were punks. Simple-minded thugs. Any of the Asian mafias are not. This Alex kid is a certified idiot.

Also, "kung fu", really? If you're going to use racist stereotypes, why on earth would you want to be good at kung fu. If you are assuming that because they are Asian, they must excel at martial arts, wouldn't you want something that YOU excel at that THEY do not? Like, I dunno, having a gun maybe? Cos otherwise, hand to hand combat likely isn't going to do much for ya. OH LIGHTEN UP ESKIMO JO. IT WAS JUST A SILLY JOKE.

Oh right. I forgot to laugh.



WHAT THE FUCK IS LIV DOING GETTING INTO THE FRONT OF A TAXI? Who does that? You know tho, you know what amused me most about this episode?

Lidl.

LOL. I'm like, haha, Bedminster. Lidl. And then got that Afrikan Boy song stuck in my head... It really did amuse me beyond what is normal. ONE DAY I WENT TO LIDL, WENT TO SHOPLIFT IN LIDL.

Okay, then I guess, since I've seen the episode, I can make sense of this gran/lost at sea scene. He's planning it. Perhaps they're planning it together. Which yeah, seems all right to plan yoru grandmother's death with her as she's suffering from dementia. Yep. But the first time, none of this shit made sense.

Okay... Then we go to college. Are at college for 5 minutes. Decide to bunk off and go break into a guy's flat instead and clean it. Riiiight.


When I skip school, my first thought is to go do chores for strangers. And then go home for a bit to get into a row with Dad over crazy grandma. Then... go back to college?

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS TIMELINE. And it's not even the afternoon yet?! I am convinced that whatever Bristol this programme is set in is like at the North Pole and filmed/set when the sun never sets. You know. Like in Norway and shit when the sun never sets. Cos the Bristol I'm in is cloudy mostly and the sun starts to go down at like half 5, lol.

Now, I really like the Liv/Mini scenes. Not cos I "ship" them or whatever but cos I think they're one of the very few remaining pieces of this show that are still achingly real. I think it a good portrayal of the anger, resentment and everything that comes along with losing a friend that you shared so deeply. And Mini and Liv's friendship has always been my absolute fav out of the whole gen cos it always struck so close to relationships I've known and witnessed. It's about the only thing Skins still does right. And when Mini watches Alex and Liv's fight and then sort of backs Liv up, before turning on her once again, it's... just it shows the conflict between wanting your best friend and caring about her, but hating her at the same time, resenting her cos she reminds you of the one you lost. You know? I've explained it terribly but really, this relationship is Skins highest moment this series.



Another highlight? At the memorial that makes no sense, right after Liv goes "Oh, Christ." there's that extra in the yellow top. Her expression when the music starts -- CLASSIC. Like, "Are you fucking serious?" HAHAH. I love that extra. I want to be friends with her. I want her to be on Skins forever and be one of the main kids.

As for the memorial itself: I'm glad apparently Liv has shitloads of dosh cos that keyboard is fucking expensive. But you know how it goes this series: HAVE ALL THE FEELINGS!! BREAK ALL THE THINGS!!

Side note: Liv really needs to stop shopping at Oxfam. Her wardrobe... really? REALLY?!

So then Alex gets a boat and convinces these random people who don't even like him to have a party on it? I'm not clear on how he got the boat? Stolen? Hmmmmm... Nice one, indeed. Seems totally plausible. And JJ's not even on it so who is it that has any navigational prowess? Somehow Alex knows how to steer a large boat like that? *sigh*



Then we get to the Liv/Mini bit which was once again stellar. But as quickly as the quality comes back, right then again into idiocy. Mini crying for Alo was stupid. I get it is to appeal to the Malo stans, to convince us that Mini in fact does have feelings for Alo so that by the end of the series we can be like "OMG TRU WUV MENT 2 B 4EVA from the beginning!!" Whatever. It seemed out of place. But of course, Mini has been reduced to being entirely dependent on men and a typical damsel in distress... Lovely.

Oh but first, also note, DBR's awkward, ugly dancing! It's just so, so terrible. They're all pretty terrible but she is the worst. It's like watching a legless robot monkey. Or something. It makes me cringe with how embarrassing that must be. And I say that as someone who probably looks very much the same unless I'm on enough class As not to be self-conscious any longer.

So then we find out that it's Alex's gran. And they dump her body "at sea"... which if you can still see the horizon that clearly, I hate to break it to ya, but you're not nearly far out enough not to have that shit be swept in again in a few weeks, espesh as they obviously made a point of it not even being down properly (like with cinder blocks for weight). So congrats, the coppers are gonna find the bloated dead corpse of your gran in a bit and be on the hunt for whoever did it. And I'm pretty sure it's REALLY illegal to do anyway -- so "in the grand scheme of things", Alex, it DOES fucking matter cos I really don't think your dad is just gonna be like "Oh my mum disappeared. Coolio. Moving on then." NO.


Just sayin'.

YOU CANNOT JUST DUMP BODIES IN THE SEA. If she killed herself, you call your dad! And it's sorted. Not telling him does not change ANYTHING. He's going to find out that she's gone, and when he notices she's literally GONE, shit's gonna hit the fan. I really don't understand how dumping her in the ocean changes anything at all. Or why it happened. What was the purpose of that whole section of the plot at all?

I just...

Can't do it.


But of course, this being Skins, nothing about this whole thing will ever be mentioned again. Cos that's just ~REAL STORIES, REAL LIFE~. Again, back to this whole thing... No one ever thought Skins was ~reality (okay, actually, I'm wrong. There is a very large contingent of 14-yr-old morons who think it's real life and want to live like it) but the exaggerated bits weren't so obvious and when they were really overdone (Mad Twatter for example) you could tell that they were supposed to be ridiculous. But here, they just present all this like it's totally plausible and this is how life is. There's no self-awareness any longer. But that's a rant for another time.

Like at the end of Franky's episode...

Which I know I said I'd do. But I'm tired now so I'll edit this later. I have a lot less to say cos I just hated it so much.

ETA:

And here we go.

FRANKY 6x04?

I hated it. Like flat-out worst episode of Skins ever. Maybe. I think Freddie's 4x05 was pretty terrible too. So, I guess maybe it's a tie. Then JJ's S4 was pretty bad too and I know I've said it was the worst episode of S4 before, but as pathetically stupid as it was, I really don't think it was as bad as this episode, simply cos it wasn't AS unrealistically ludicrous and it was actually in character, generally.

So, I can sum up 6x04 very easily:



Seriously.

It was such stupid bullshit I don't even know where to begin. There's literally no point in complaining about the lack of continuity or characterisation. There's no point in bitching about how we still got absolutely no explanation about why Franky did a complete 180 between 5x08 and 6x01. So, I guess at this point, pretty much mid-point through the series, we are just supposed to shut up and accept how massively different the characters were in 6x01. DEAL WITH IT, FANS.

Or as the powers that be like to think, THEY"RE JUST SO MISUNDERSTOOD, YEAH? OH BOO HOO. THE FANS ARE JUST TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND HOW AMAZING THE WRITING IS THIS SERIES!



This may be the best gifset ever made, tbh. Check it out on tumblr: the website that is full of absolute morons, buzzkills and masses and masses of 2 second clips of moving pictures. (Hey, guess what, it's not just Franky's ep that bothers me these days, lol). Honestly tho, tumblr gives me no hope for humanity or common sense if that represents the majority. At least in the Skins fandom... But I digress.

Where was I? Oh yes, Franky's episode.

What fucking happened to DBR? She's such a crappy actor 80% of the time. Just nothing she does seems organic and genuine. She LOOKS, she SOUNDS like she's ACTING. And I mean, it's not like all of gen1 or gen2 were fantastic actors; some were, some struggled with this... je ne sais quoi. But I feel that any of their weaknesses as actors were hidden by the fact that they genuinely seemed to embody their characters. So when Larissa would slip in S1 and sound kind of clunky delivering a line, it still worked cos that's just JAL -- kind of repressed and stilted herself. When April seemed a bit over the top whiny, that was perfect cos that works with MICHELLE. When Bailey mumbled a line with no expression whatsoever, that was okay cos that's SID. The actors in G1 (and to some extent G2) appeared to be specifically chosen because they reflected the characters themselves. Exaggeration was needed, but if they slipped, it was fine cos they were similar enough to the characters. (Altho, I suppose Nick and Larissa aren't at all. Even remotely.) Whatever. You get what I'm saying generally, right?

But DBR... it's weird cos I thought she was great in The Golden Compass. But she's NOT Franky anymore. I feel like the problem could be that this series, she's playing closer to herself -- which is why it doesn't feel like Franky. She's just not the same calibre as Nick Hoult. She can't pull it off. Doesn't help that the character is written so poorly as well, but it's ... I dunno. Enough about DBR. I'm not her biggest fan and we'll leave it at that.



So this episode. What happened?

1. Franky is sad so she does lots of drugs alone in her room and dances to bad hipster music and then hallucinates her dead friend and/or sees her dead friend's ghost. This is tragic cos Franky's such a sensitive soul. We should feel for her troubles cos it's not like she was the catalyst for it all in the first place or anything...

2. She acts like a normal teenager to her dads. That's fine.

3. She sits in a mock exam, makes a shitty cartoon whilst the haunting strains of yet more hipster music waft forebodingly around her.* Then as the music swells dramatically, Franky starts having an acid flashback and hallucinating Grace's voice taunting her, falls face first into an anxiety attack and flees the exam. (Having had a legit panic attack in an exam before, errm, yeah. No. Thanks, but no thanks, Skins.)

4. Because she's clearly going mental, she decides to pull out a matchbook that she just happens to carry everywhere with her like some trinket of remembrance of the creeptacular douchebag she met in Morocco that lead ultimately to her having a big dead friend who now haunts her. Incidentally, this matchbook contains a cryptic message that no human being would actually put there. Normal people leave their number. Or an email address. Or a last name so at least you can creep them (and all their friends) on Facebook. No, of course I've never done anything of the sort. This tool leaves a stupid, desperate message on a pack of matches that we're just supposed to assume lead to his hideout. The Rileys I know doesn't look like this tho. Also, it's incredibly lucky that Luke just happens to be there randomly when she pops by unannounced. And is a giant cocktease again. Shocking.

5. There's more dramatic glitchy hipster music. What is this? 2010? 8-bit Witch house is so last year. She comes home. Has a row with her dads. It's fine. I can't complain.

6. Yet more music starts that sounds exactly like all the other music so far this episode and she rings Mini for no discernible reason at all; because this show is retarded, retarded-Mini answers mid-coitus cos that's what every teenager does, right? There's lots of panting and moaning. WHO REALLY DOES THIS THO?! I have been in this situation many a-time and NEVER do I think, well, gee, I'm really enjoying this intercourse so maybe I'll answer my phone when I have call display and just have a quick chit-chat with my grrlfrands, teehee.

No. Now, because Luke is drug overlord apparently, he stalks Franky even tho he only knows her first name and has spent about a grand total of 20 minutes with her, ever.*

7. They sit on a hill and DBR smokes unbelievably bad as she spews guilt-laden crap about Grace and Luke pretends that he had a conversation with her, then proceeds to put the moves on old Franks by saying creepy, sexualised shit. Then, cos he's drug master there's business to take care of. This consists of going to the Concorde (just don't.) and running inside, then running back out whilst a giant punch-up happens for no actual reason against a bunch of lads that are well harder than Luke's prissy boy Wills mob. Franky puts in a CD... (Yeah.) that acts as the soundtrack and pumps out the same shitty witch house crap that this whole episode is still trying to sell as gratuitous, completely disgusting and unnecessary violence (a la 4x07) spills out everywhere, much like diarrhea. Because Franky is just amazing, she hops out of the car and punches some dude in the face. She shakes her hand a bit so that the director of this horrible episode has us believe it's realistic, even though likely her knuckles would be broken. If she could even hit hard enough. Which, I suppose, considering her bird-like frame, is incredibly doubtful. Anyway, it all makes her happy and horny so she makes out with Luke in the middle of the brawl then we get a nice old close up of DBR's massive cleavage. It's always lovely when you just parade DBR around in underwear and suddenly she has millions of fans. And it's even better when her own stans go mental for it too, even though they've spent the last 4 episodes complain about how she doesn't have any story/decent characterisation. Here's a novel theory: Franky doesn't need character development cos she has breast development. Everyone just laps this shit up and I feel I'm the only one in fandom that finds this whole thing plainly insulting. And creepy.



8. I'm skipping forward cos this is taking too long. Matty calls, sounds like a whiny desperate little bitch. How much are they paying Seb for these voice overs? Not enough. Boy got the fucking shaft. Luke calls the lads at the pub "small time pricks" which is exactly what he technically is as well since he's just a runty little boy playing grown-up.

9. We're 15 min in and other than like 2 seconds when magically ALL her friends were in the mocks with her, has ANYONE in the main cast even been in this episode other than DBR?

10. Oh. Here they come.

11. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"I am a bad actress and I'm trying waaaay too hard."

That's what's wrong, Mini. That was so amazingly bad acting on DBR's part that I can't even handle it. It's a lot like Rachel Thevenard's acting when she has to play bitch in MTV!Skins and does it sooooo badly. And I love Rachel. Do not like DBR. Sexual tension? LMAO. Please. I have more sexual tension with a loaf of bread than those two had. I will say however, for the people bitching about Mini backing down so easily? I think at least THAT did actually make sense. Girls like Mini aren't used to being challenged. They're all talk so it does make sense that not only is Franky fighting back, but she's also completely confusing Mini.

12. Franky thinks she's hot shit cos she got plowed by a sociopath and so mirrors that ~power by acting like a complete bitch to all her friends. Okay. Also not quite sure why Matty thinks Franky's still his girlfriend. Didn't she just last episode tell him never to come back? Isn't that sorta like breaking up, completely? Just sayin'.

13. String theory is on the exam cos actually it's a test for her Physics Masters degree. Surprise! Franky's actually a secret genius (like Pandora!). DBR once again delivers some stunningly bad dialogue with just about as good expression. Then the students in the exam act unrealistically and cheer? Especially Freddie's ghost in the background. Hmm. When in real-people land, students would be so shocked they would just stare and start muttering to each other.

13. Shots, snooker, coke, sex. Joe Cole sounds like Jack O'Connell occasionally. Franky likes it rough. Daddy Fitzgerald doesn't like that Macaulay Culkin circa 1995 is making out with his little girl.

14. Franky doesn't know what the word "ultimatum" means. Then she runs away from the damage she's done and all her stans cheer cos it's so tragic and dramatic. But when Matty does the same, they shout for his head on a pike.


Makes sense.

15. More Grace ~visions. OMG IT'S SO DEEP. IT'S A MANIFESTATION OF FRANKY'S GUILT. Yeah. Got it the first time, thanks. Note to Neil Duncan: Yes. It's still a hallucination. You need a dictionary, you giant twat.

16. I have to sit through very poorly targeted adverts on 4oD. Things I don't believe Skins fans care about: train travel, dental care and Paul Rudd films. Then again, I don't think there are adverts for consequence-free drug abuse, bad fanfic and how to fake a mental illness to be cool -- which appear to be the only things Skins fans care about.



17. Franky has a pity party for herself and sounds exactly like every pathetic loser on tumblr that posts those horrible hipster photos with words on them. At the twinkling sounds of internal self-flagellation, Nick materalises, balls out, and wants to join too. It's his ~thang. Hasn't anyone told him pity parties have a guest-list of one? Anyway, so then Nick says out of completely nowhere that now he's suddenly in love with Franky. Cos, like every romance this series, there does not to be any basis for it whatsoever. We just need to accept it, right? Series 5 actually did not happen. I'm convinced.

18. Oh. Psycho Support. You'd think they would have fixed that placard by now. It's been like 3 years... The haunting strains of a Florence remix drift through the air and all the teen girls go mental trying to find out who remixed it and how they can download it for free and then say they loved it before they heard it on Skins cos OMG.

19. And then Skins graces us with it's revolting portrayal of therapy and therapists. I am literally OFFENDED by the fact they CONTINUE to promote psychological support and therapy as completely fucking batty and awful. Pingu is there and I want one but they are like £30 on amazon for that specific one. Either way, she has a "BREAKTHROUGH" and trashes the office and it's awesome cos that's ~progress. Sigh.



20. Kyle Lynd chooses Kuedo for the rough sex, which despite the dialogue ("OH YEAH FUCK ME!!!") does not look that exciting AT ALL. More like Franky's sitting on her phone whilst it vibrates cos she was bored. Which once again pisses the ever-loving fuck out of me. Kuedo's too good for this shit.

21. It should be "Eye of the Tiger" that comes one with this 80's montage of street fighter training. This is incredibly cheesy.

22. Despite what I ~think DBR mumbled at the beginning, Franky has completely turned into Luke's crackbitch. Seriously. Look at her. A stuck-up crack bitch. Even worse. Ugh. Gross. Then there's another fight. Presumably with the lads from before looking for another kicking. Franky apparently is a trained fighter now and can wallop guys twice her weight after 5 minutes of sissy punches with her boyfriend. Seems legit. Franky then goes completely out of character and laughs like a psycho as she watches Nick get the shit kicked out of him after he did a wonderful job of stalking her.

23. Then Franky has rough sex again. But this time apparently wants to be ~loved instead and Luke doesn't care. Cos Luke has clearly never cared and somehow this is unexpected. Whatever. I'm not even talking about this scene cos it was fucking stupid and I think I have unpopular opinions about it, but then again, I can't even decide what my opinions even are cos I simply don't care enough to dwell. Consequently, she lies on the sofa and feels sorry for herself some more as more indie pop plays gently to try to incite the audience to give a shit about this little twatface and all the dumbassery she's brought to herself this episode.


(This is a sarcastic gif if you can't tell.)

24. After a stealthy escape, she apologies to the swing set and tells it her problems. It doesn't say anything back. Then she calls out for her hallucinatory BFF to visit her. But since screaming at Pingu and throwing furniture around an office, then beating the shit out of random boys and generally exploding herself everywhere because it's perfectly acceptable to use needless violence against other people cos you feel bad, she's guilt-induced-hallucination free! Too bad all that didn't get rid of her penetrating selfishness that she hides behind being so ~fragile and blameless. Hey Franky, Emily Fitch called. She wants her schtick back.

LOL. Yeah, I said it.

25. Her dad doesn't care that his daughter is bleeding from her head, but tells a lovely, heart-warming tale of her adoption and hope. Luke shows up to play abusive boyfriend stereotype #1. (He's supposed to be clever and that's how he behaves? I'm not saying he's NOT abusive cos he clearly is a massive, controlling, scary asshole but this scene particularly was just such a cookie-cutter cliche. Quelle surprise, I suppose. Subtlety? What's that? Like a new kind of dubstep?)

26. Nick once again recites his nonsensical love whilst Sean Teale looks terrifyingly identical to my cousin, which has effectively removed any happy-pants thoughts about Nick.

27. The episode ends and I hate it. The whole thing was complete and utter wanktastic bullshit. I hate Skins. I hate everything about this programme now.






* NOTE 1: I FUCKING HATE THIS SCENE FOR THE SIMPLE FACT of... HOW DARE THEY USE ZOLA JESUS!!! ZOLA JESUS IS FAR TOO GOOD FOR THIS SHITTY PROGRAMME. Zola Jesus is MINE, not Skins'. And now there's gonna be a whole wacker load of 15 year old twats going "OMG ZOLA JESUS". Fuck off, Skins. Leave my good indie music alone. I used this track on a fanmix AGES ago and you're ruining it. Fucking cunt, Kyle Lynd.

*NOTE 2: And can we please talk about this HUGE COINCIDENCE that of all the places in England for this prepubescent drug-dealing kingpin to live, he just so happens to be from Bristol. HOW MANY DRUG GANGS ARE THERE HERE? There's like 3 every series? They're all inept. And I guess Skins doesn't want to show the real Bristol -- cos yes, the gangs (perhaps they have motorcycles?) and organised crime (*cough* no names mentioned but I'm sure you've heard of them wherever you're from as well) let little cunty shits like Luke be bigtime players. YEAH. FUCKING. RIGHT. (Oh wait! Mini did mention this group once, in --you guessed it-- series 5! But things like realism don't matter cos that was S5, this is S6 -- it's here to appease the hoarde of mindless teenage zombies.) Guess what? This was obviously written by someone who has absolutely zero idea about drug culture. I mean NONE. NADA. ZUT. It's pathetic, really. Truly, truly PATHETIC. Someone, once again, has never seen Layer Cake. Or, fuck, WEEKENDER for that matter. And certainly has no first hand experience in even any remote area of drug culture. I KNOW more than whoever wrote this crap, and I'm prolly 10 years younger than whoever wrote this cowshit. Cos it's LAUGHABLE how bad this is.

And even better, it's such a small world that he's the SAME guy from Morocco. Uh huh.


SO OVERALL: 6x03: B-, 6x04: F.

And in my normal way, here are some brilliant posts from tumblr related to the episode:
http://seeyouinanotherlifebrother.tumblr.com/post/17573045428/skins
http://sleepylauren.tumblr.com/post/17654823220
http://dietjusticeblog.tumblr.com/post/17653663110/so-sick-of-tv-programs-perpetuating-the-cliched
http://deus-e-x-machina.tumblr.com/post/17651907190/i-never-knew-i-could-hate-a-character-more-than-i-hated
http://golf-chang.tumblr.com/post/17757161959
http://stephwinchester.tumblr.com/post/17773767008/im-about-to-say-something-that-youd-never-thought
http://yearinyearout-.tumblr.com/post/17608837717/skins-is-so-unbelievably-shit-now
http://smile-girl-smile.tumblr.com/post/17610672458/i-hate-frankies-dancing-on-skins
http://reclaimer.tumblr.com/post/17603264565/i-dont-like-the-way-skins-portray-therapy
http://suburban-waste.tumblr.com/post/17572084039/lol-so-nick-just-thinks-he-loves-franky-huh
http://elisemaartje.tumblr.com/post/17572626144
http://scheib-mary.tumblr.com/post/17573143855/i-really-liked-franky-until-this-episode-what
http://samyulle.tumblr.com/post/17573994957/im-just-sitting-here-rubbing-the-temples-in-my
http://that-soulless-guy.tumblr.com/post/17573972033/im-starting-to-feel-like-skins-airs-every-week
http://inkternet.tumblr.com/post/17575490144/i-srsly-hope-no-one-thinks-britain-is-actually
http://gracevblood.tumblr.com/post/17575571258/lol-i-just-compared-6x04-to-5x01-and-i-want-to



and this one is really the creme de la creme:
http://eve-barlow.tumblr.com/post/17626395918/skins-wtf

Seriously. 98% of it is exactly my thoughts, just said with much better talent and coherence than I could ever hope for.

"Approximately three and a bit series after Skins essentially OD’d on itself, I’m still watching it. I recall the early brilliance of a programme that launched the career of Dev Patel and the face of Nicholas Hoult, presented teen drama in a way that wasn’t patronising and once concluded a series with the Adrian Mole-esque Sid singing his own version of Cat Stevens’ Wild World as his entire universe crashed around him. It was a “cool” show, not vacuously “cool” but properly “cool”. It had something to say about young people. It was bold in the way it portrayed kids. It definitely wasn’t as bold as shows like Queer As Folk but it had a similar modus operandi in that it sought to glorify exciting, taboo behaviour that could be happening in your neighbourhood, albeit in a slightly (very) exaggerated way. It was properly “cool”. IT HAD DANNY DYER IN IT FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. Yes, I recall that early brilliance and I pray that co-creators Bryan Elsley and Jamie Brittain will also recall it. But as Monday night’s episode of shambolic, over-the-top, ASBO porn proves, they won’t.

Once Skins became aware of how properly “cool” it was, it started to get vacuously “cool” by proceeding to eat itself"

"The soundtrack has become so pleased with itself over the “Generations”; if I had a pound for every time I’ve heard an early promo CD in the office or soundcloud on Pitchfork and accurately predicted that “This is a Song That Will Be Used On Skins” I’d be watching Skins on Sky Plus on a 3D television feeding Persian cats bags of premium cocaine."

"Where Skins was once rooted in plausible stories that were embellished upon with drugs, sex and lewd behaviour, it’s now rooted in drugs, sex and lewd behaviour without any foundation of basic, tangible reality."

"It’s the Lady Gaga of TV: a show that’s covered all its ground so has resorted to topping itself each season with ever-escalating attempts at the “shock” factor. Unlike Gaga, it “shocks” for the sake of shocking, making no other point than “Hey, shock time!”, and thereby not shocking anyone at all. It has failed miserably to keep us interested. This fourth instalment of series 6 was as attention-seeking and crazed as an episode of Jeremy Kyle featuring schizophrenic, gak-dependent martians from Space. And frankly, that sounds more insightful than anything Skins could possibly have left to say."

 
 
tunes: Dark Sky - Ghost Notes | Powered by Last.fm
 
 
 
an idea is bulletproof: Animaniacs - Wacko ppl are crazyelizalavelle on February 19th, 2012 07:52 pm (UTC)
Aww I shall miss your detailed Skins thoughts. I just live blog mine, fast and gets it done as the episode plays. No reliving it afterwards.

Skins father type # 3: Absentee... thus fucking up the daughters royally.

I knew the dice living thing would make you want to hurl... I'm sure he's a neuro hacker too... that'll be a plot point later ;)

The Alzheimer's depiction bothered me. I don't know how no one on staff knew how to portray that better. Alex should have been scared that his grandma was going away from him mentally, not acting like it was all find because grandma is kind of dotty. If she was going into a home then she likely was really bad off, it wouldn't have been fun for him.

I don't think BE understands teenagers at all, I think he genuinely sees them as having unlimited access to alchohol and drugs and I don't see what was so wrong in his childhood to make him assume this. Even in uni when I was going to the pub and not worried about savings etc. I 1. pre-drank and 2. Couldn't afford to go every day and just randomly drink in the afternoon.

I think credit for the Liv/Mini scenes goes to the actresses who seem able to bring their real life friendship to the screen.

Yeah the ending with the gran being dumped at sea was just... bad. Maybe this explains why Alex isn't in the next episode. He's in prison.

Béibhinn Mór-Ríoghain: [c-cole] oh muffin!doreah on February 19th, 2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
I can't even be bothered live-blogging lol.

That's true, there's a shitload of girls who don't have dads. But I think those could technically be under asshole/neglectful type lol. But yeah, point.

Exactly. Not only was the depiction of it in of itself awful, but Alex's reactions weren' real at all. I think the father's were moreso. Some people do just think "oh lost cause." and also get really angry at the older person for being that way. i've seen my uncle pretty much disown my nana when she started to go. he just didn't know how to handle it properly. and if a 40 yr old man can;t, how on earth is a child?

Yeah, I think BE suffers from like some sort of mental block. Like those people who are like "OMG high school was the best time of my lifeee!!" even tho in reality it was pretty crappy but they've built it up so high in their heads and made up so many stories that they've kind of convinced themselves and truly believe it was so amazing. even tho most of what they're remembering isn't real. i fell into that for a few years. i was like "oh no. i LOVED high school. it was SO GREAT!" but i had blocked out all the horrible shit and exaggerated the good in my head so much that i honestly didn't recall reality. i sorted it out later on tho... now i recognise the good and the bad.

granted he does pretty much ramp up the BAD to ridic levels. it's not like it's all happy fun times. but it's just... so... UGH. i don't even know how to explain it. but the drama isn't real. it's pure fantasy. so it may as well be happy fun times for the amount of sense it makes. he's totally just vicariously reliving his teenage years as he wished they were (or as he genuinely believes they were... which is about a million times worse.)

and yeah exactly. i mean first year uni was a shitshow. i had no money worries really and loved to drink but fucked if i could afford that shit all the time. remember... it was them IJ boys who lived like that... and then ended up in MASSIVE debt cos of it. yeah and they started off with heaps of dough. it's so ridic for teenagers. i mean i'm still uni now and i walk into the off-license, look at the prices of vodka and turn around and go to sainsbury's for the cheapest shit possible. and i love my grey goose and crap. just cannot afford it on a constant basis. ffs. and going out for drinks is even worse.

yeah lol no kidding! he should be tbh. but skins must have been majorly skint this series. no other series has had the regulars cut so drastically. rich missing from 2 eps? nick not even speaking in some? grace as a cameo? pretty much each ep is ONE MAIN CHARACTER, with ONE OTHER MAIN CHARACTER guest starring -- and the rest are just extras and cameos. these poor kids must not have earnt much money. not to mention it makes the episodes as terrible as S4 with the drastically insular stories.

Edited at 2012-02-19 09:04 pm (UTC)
an idea is bulletproofelizalavelle on February 20th, 2012 10:06 pm (UTC)
They just played the whole disease wrong. Alex saw it as a fun game and the show let it be shown that way rather than showing that it's scary. Someone like that will often wander out of the house if left unsupervised or turn the stove on and light the house on fire... it's not cruel of the father to want her to be in a home. No idea why he couldn't just be home and pack her up himself since a kid shouldn't be home alone with someone who's ill like that anyway unless they're homeschooling or something because leaving the house for the entire day and randomly at night can't happen.

BE could definitely be thinking like that. Or he was such a loser but has decided that the kids who party had the best time ever. I feel like he was never a part of the world that he's portraying since he doesn't seem to show anything right at all.

They must have blown all of their budget on Morocco and then could barely pay for filming for the rest of the time. Dumb. And yes there's so much less continuity when the characters don't even speak to each other!
Béibhinn Mór-Ríoghaindoreah on February 22nd, 2012 05:35 pm (UTC)
"I feel like he was never a part of the world that he's portraying since he doesn't seem to show anything right at all."

This is true. But that's not in conflict with my view. I tend to agree that he obviously did not experience this ~world he insists on exploring so terribly. I think tho, it's not like he was a complete loner loser in college, just that he's made up an alternate reality that he either believes happened (cos he insists that Skins is ~real, which anyone who is a relatively recent teenager would scoff at so that implies that it's real to him, and thus what he knows through his experiences/what people tell him. Ugh.) or what he thinks actually happens. I mean, there's no way to know without asking him but since he cowardly fled from Twitter to avoid facing any criticism at all, it's impossible. I guess on that side of things, he is still stuck in the mentality of a child. So, yeah, lol. Congrats BE. But yeah, he seems to have the same immature, ignorant view that the party kids were just the coolest ever and lived the best, most exciting lives.

*sigh*

Then again, some of these episodes aren't written by him at all, but written by "young writers". I'm not sure what "young" means, other than his daughter. Cos like the "teen advisory board" in MTV!Skins, I think it's a load of gimmicky, meaningless bullshit now, where once it was legit.

Whatever. I give up on him and Skins really. I actually saw an advert for Gossip Girl and I couldn't really tell the different between the shows now. So much for ~originality. When Skins becomes the exact UK equivalent of GG, just with more dubstep, I don't see how anyone can argue that it's the same unique, amazing Skins it once was.
an idea is bulletproofelizalavelle on February 22nd, 2012 08:34 pm (UTC)
Wait what, he actually interviews saying Skins is reality? I think they should have brought in some party kids who are now done partying and interviewed them to get an actual real perspective. Maybe actually do two groups. Talk to party kids and base the first season of a generation around how awesome they think everything is and how immortal they feel. Then for the second season bring in the reality of consequences (not "a random stranger died in the club" consequences but real things like relationships falling apart and flunking out of school... more like series one TBH) then you'd have something dramatized but more real.

I think Mini's ep was written by his daughter which kind of makes me wonder what their relationship is like.
Béibhinn Mór-Ríoghain: [skins] emily: bit by bitdoreah on February 22nd, 2012 09:47 pm (UTC)
Yeah that's been Skins' partyline since the beginning; writers, cast etc. Some of them were smart enough to be like "yeah it's like a reflection of reality but exaggerated" (lily loveless was one of the cast that was like this. she had brains). i think even a lot of the first gen cast said the same. i recall april saying more than once that the aim was to show the "real" life of teenagers like it never has been before -- but it's obvs exaaggerated for TV. some of them tho have always said "this is what being a teen is really like!! shocking!! watch our show!!". the whole thing with BE circa MTV!Skins was like how ~real it was, and how because he's so brilliant and has ~real teens telling him ~real stories -- that the show will be so authentic to this and be so ~real all round. and i believe on his twitter before it was gone there was stuff about how they just want to represent teens as real people or something. i honestly can't remember. coulda been elsewhere in an interview or something. i just can't count the number of times i recall hearing him or his lackeys spouting off about how cutting edge skins is cos it portrays what it's really like to be a teenager. not to mention the media that touts that around constantly in praise of it.

i think that's totally it. you gotta get "retired" party kids to tell stories. not the ones that are still in it, high on the experience and inflating everything themselves. i find retired party kids have a better perspective on it all -- the good and bad. of course it seems awesome and consequence free whilst you're IN it. everything always is like that. but once you're out of it, you can see more sides to it. and i think that's what's so unbalanced about Skins now. not only are the writers completely out to lunch about what it's like in ANY party scene, but it's like they're only getting stories from the young kids that still think everything is MENTAL AND DRAMATIC AND AWESOME. which is fine... in moderation. (haha clone high reference!) but it needs that other side which apparently the adults can't provide either cos they're too old to remember the downside of things, just looking back (and imagining things) with such rose-coloured glasses.
an idea is bulletproof: Clone High - this blowselizalavelle on February 22nd, 2012 10:23 pm (UTC)
Clone high is awesome!

Also, I agree with what you're saying here. I think you should make the next Skins - I'd watch :)
Béibhinn Mór-Ríoghain: [bl] denise: give me a f'kin breakdoreah on February 22nd, 2012 09:47 pm (UTC)
really when i see the portrayal of even drug use/drug culture on this programme is just rings SO FAKE, like someone's wetdream about drugs, like someone who has very limited experience in it. like one of those 15 yr olds that has just tried MDMA for the first time a few weekends ago, you know? of course it seems like nothing could ever be wrong! hell, we spent most of first year uni in blissful ignorance (and purposeful ignorance haha) about the bad shit than came with partying so hard. and even like with raving. it seemed like the perfect life... until it didn't.

everything's fun and games until your friend ODs, pretty much. just like drinking's so much fun until you nearly fail school, puke blood and ruin relationships.

and i mean, fine, don't be preachy. but i find any "consequences" the skins kids this series face are never related to their actual behaviour anymore, or if they are, they don't even realise it so it doesn't matter. it's just dumb luck that bad shit happened. like you said a lot of it is random, with very thin ties to any of the characters' actions, if any. unless it about girls having sex cos apparently you can't be a girl and enjoy sex without either getting pregnant or raped or die. but even then, i feel like neither franky nor mini really have taken stock of the fact that the consequences they experience are partly related to the poor choices they've made. it's just like "shit happens oh well not my fault!"

not to mention i don't think i've ever seen a single one in any generation ever have a hangover or a bad comedown.

that is truly magical.

even cassie ODing in 1x01 was like all fun and games. WTF.

yeah. jess brittain -- the girl who can't even have continuity within her own writing. (she wrote the novel and clearly ignored 2 main points she developed in that. so i guess the novel isnt canon after all. which then can be assumed the gen2 novel wasn't either by that logic.).

well, put together Sid/his dad and Mini/her dad and you've got BE's kids' perspectives on their relationship with him. He's said multiple times that he wasn't the greatest parent so go figure. i can't imagine it was a very good relationship -- until Skins and money came along. and even then, i have no idea what it's like now, but BE commandeering Skins and JB being booted for his sister? eehhhhh. Rough. that's the really scary thing about this tho. it gives you possible insight into the creators and writers more than the characters. and it's creepy speculating on it, and probably a little out of line -- but it's inevitable when they make it so salient.
an idea is bulletproofelizalavelle on February 22nd, 2012 10:18 pm (UTC)
I think you hit the nail on the head. I don't think the show needs to preach but the consequences are often so random. Effy is a huge case in point. Her actions had no consequences and she just randomly went crazy.

Yeah I feel creepy wondering what's going on there but when you have your kids write the episodes and they're so blatently off plus there's the firing of one and hiring of the other... I just speculate the family situation is not good. Honestly with a person who is so dellusional that they get a twitter to hear praise then run when they get bad feedback you know something isn't good there. Glad he's not my dad.

Wait was there another novel?
mparamourjenjesse on February 22nd, 2012 02:59 am (UTC)
I am still proud of myself for requesting that photoset
( yeah this is monsterparamour lol. tumblr misses you! well, I do :x )

I actually liked the therapist, I mean compared to past ones she seemed more genuine in her occupation.

Then again, my sessions never involved talking to Pingu the penguin.
Béibhinn Mór-Ríoghaindoreah on February 22nd, 2012 05:50 pm (UTC)
Oh, it's you! :) I'm proud of you too! It's been the best thing on tumblr in a long time.

See, I didn't think it was the ~worst therapist we've seen on Skins, but I really don't understand how this country doesn't seem to have a single decent psychologist. I've never experience or even heard of psychologists acting the way ANY of them have in Skins. Franky's wasn't OTT in the same way as Dr. Stock or Foster, but I found her along the spectrum of JJ's shrink. Just these ... fantasy versions of incompetent counsellors. And I mean, I've had some not so pleasant experiences in psych services (with the receptionist in all fairness. never even made it to the shrink lol), and some of my friends have had strings of therapists before finding one that really worked for them, but I find it difficult to believe that in 6 years of Skins we haven't seen a single half-decent portrayal of therapy (and this includes the equally terrible versions in MTV!Skins). The Pingu thing was stupid as hell for a teenager. I just... Yeah. *sigh*

Not every shrink is an inept moron, snotty bitch, psychopathic murderer, or brainless twit. And some teens actually find therapy helpful once they find the right fit (personality-wise, belief-wise, etc). I know Skins refuses to take any social responsibility and incessantly denies it has any influence on its audience (tho I'm pretty sure there's a stronger argument for the alternative), but in this day and age when kids are losing support frameworks (teachers, parents, siblings, friends) left, right, and centre, and are suffering alone or on Youtube and tumblr, I think it's reprehensible to repeatedly ~insist that therapy is useless and full of idiots who aren't ever going to help you. (Tho I suppose it could be argued that ultimately it did help Franky -- but it was just expressed so poorly. And played up for dramatic purposes that really detract from anything they were trying to say.)

Those little PSA's that e4 shoves in at the end during the credits seem strangely contradictory to the message that Skins itself is sending out. And all I can do is hope that the kids who are watching (and think they ARE Effy, etc.) are at least smart enough to give the helplines a ring even tho for the last hour they've been inundated with messages of "adults are oblivious idiots; don't trust them. they only want to fuck you up even more."


Edited at 2012-02-22 05:54 pm (UTC)