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16 August 2005 @ 10:02 pm
The Adventures of A Girl and A Centipede  
Once upon a time there was a girl who hated centipedes. She especially hated big centipedes. Then one day the girl was feeding her pet rat and came face to face was a LARGE CENTIEPEDE. He was about 4 inches from her nose. The girl yelled and ran away because she did not like centipedes. Then her father came in and made a show of getting rid of it, but in reality all he did was make it go away, not die. So the girl relaxes and a few days later she is watching TV. Suddenly the centipede runs across the room and the girl yells, not out of fear, but out of anger. Stupid centipede! I hate centipedes! But it disappears again.

Another few days later she goes down to the basement to pull out her 26er of vodka which has been stashed there. Then she sees it. So she yells at it. It begins to run in circles for some reason. Then it plops down in the middle of the floor and looks at her. She throws things at it, and misses, but close. It sits there. It occurs to her that the centipede is retarded. And that makes her feel for the centipede because it obviously is not as cool as all the other centipedes. Like her. But her dad upon hearing the screaming comes down to take care of it. But it escapes again.

Then a few days later, she is going to take a shower. As she's getting ready, her toe hits something and immediately the centipede runs away. She stepped on him by accident! Now, normally she would cry and scream and run away too, but this time she is calm and merely grumbles: Stupid centipede. She brags that she stepped on him and he ran away so her dad comes in and tries to hunt him down. But he can't find him, or maybe he did. Maybe he is dead and that makes her sad because as much as she hated the centipede, he was always around and never hurt her. Plus, he was quick and didn't like being in her way, unlike the disgusting caterpillars who may look prettier than the centipede but are actually three million times grosser.

So now she waits to see him again. (As long as he's not in her bedroom.)

P.S. His name is George. Named after the spider her grandparents used to have for years.
tunes: Limbeck - This Place Is Deserted
unknown.sweet_sno on August 17th, 2005 02:53 am (UTC)
LMFAO. Oh. My. God. That was cute.

I love this, and I heart you!!!

Good luck finding George, I hope he is safe and sound! :-)
an idea is bulletproofelizalavelle on August 17th, 2005 04:20 am (UTC)
Ew, is this the "George" we saw in the living room that one time? cuz he's fucking huge!

I'm so not a bug person.

But I did like your story :)
orange_is_burningorangeisburning on August 17th, 2005 08:22 pm (UTC)
that was an awesome story viv... i love the name you gave the retarded centipede. <3 fluff u vivvy
i_love_dragons on August 18th, 2005 12:26 am (UTC)
Eeheehee....your story made me smile. It completely sounds like you too.

Hope George turns up again in the appropriate place, aka not in bedroom.